Why I'm Glad I'm Not a Southern Baptist
"RESOLVED, That the messengers to the Southern Baptist Convention meeting in Greensboro, North Carolina, June 13-14, 2006, express our total opposition to the manufacturing, advertising, distributing, and consuming of alcoholic beverages"
I guess somewhere in the inerrant translation of the KJV version of the Scriptures, the following passage must have been omitted.
1 On the third day there was a wedding at Cana in Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there.
2 Jesus also was invited to the wedding with his disciples.
3 When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.”
4 And Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does this have to do with me? My hour has not yet come.”
5 His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”
6 Now there were six stone water jars there for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty gallons.
7 Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water.” And they filled them up to the brim.
8 And he said to them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the feast.” So they took it.
9 When the master of the feast tasted the water now become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the master of the feast called the bridegroom
10 and said to him, “Everyone serves the good wine first, and when people have drunk freely, then the poor wine. But you have kept the good wine until now.”
11 This, the first of his signs, Jesus did at Cana in Galilee, and manifested his glory. And his disciples believed in him.
Yeah. Because no one at that wedding was intoxicated after having "drunk freely." Because Christ didn't manufacture, and cause to be distributed and consumed, alcoholic beverages. Because we know it had to be grape juice, because for some odd reason after drinking a whole lot of grape juice you can't tell good grape juice from bad. Yeah, because that's the Bible our Southern Baptists want us to read.
In related news, a church that actually is making a stand on an issue that is of doctrinal import and actually matters a damn:
Episcopal Church Elects Female Presiding Bishop Who Immediately Condones Homosexuality
Diocese of Fort Worth Appeals to Canterbury for Immediate Emergency Alternative Primatial Oversight