"Giving Money and Power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys."

I'm reading a great book right now, titled "Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire US Government." It's brilliant humor.

A short excerpt, on the 1988 Presidential Campaign.

Anyway, the Republicans were running on the Dumb-Old-Dad platform: "You kids today, you don't know how good you've got it. Why, back in 1979 inflation was so bad that nickels cost fifty cents, the Dow was minus a million, they were giving out food stamps as stock dividends and you couldn't walk to your garage without getting held hostage by Iranians." Meanwhile the Democratic platform was pure whining brat: "Like, full employment is sooooo boring and I hate having a big navy and you promised a drug-free American and I want my free drugs now."

The Democrats were for a lot more of something to be named at a later date. The Republicans were for less of whatever it was except the death penalty. The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with American, and we can fix that."

We had a choice between Democrats who couldn't learn from the past and Republicans who couldn't stop living in it, between Democrats who wanted to tax us to death and Republicans who preferred to have us die in a foreign war. The Democrats planned to fiddle while Rome burned. The Republicans were going to burn Rome, then fiddle.

When you looked at the Republicans, you saw the scum off the top of business. When you looked at the Democrats, you saw the scum off the top of politics. Personally, I prefer business. A businessman will steal from you directly instead of getting the IRS to do it for him. And when Republicans ruin the environment, destroy the supply of affordable housing, and wreck the industrial infrastructure, at least they make a buck off it. The Democrats just do these things for fun.

By P.J. O'Rourke


Popular posts from this blog

American Superheroes - Played by Brits

Jaffa Versus Mansfield

It's all right, You can all sleep sound tonight